Turnabout Oneshots
by TitanWolf
Summary: A bunch of funny oneshots featuring everybody's favorite Ace Attorney and his friends.
1. Turnabout Kitty

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 1**

**DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING BUT THE IDEAS!**

**TitanWolf - Welcome ladies and germs.**

**Awkward silence**

**TitanWolf - Okay… moving on what I'm about to show you is a rare collection of Phoenix Wright moments that have never been seen by anybody except the creator and-**

**WHIP!**

**TitanWolf - No!… stay back!…. Keep that thing away from- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Franziska von Karma - Now that that foolishly foolish fool who foolishly tried to foolishly delay the start of the foolish idea of foolishly foolish Oneshots is out of the way, I Franziska von Karma shall do the introducing of this foolishly foolish foolishness.**

**TitanWolf - Hey I'm the one doing the intro to this-**

**WHIP!**

**TitanWolf - OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Franziska von Karma - On your knees and like my boots foolish slave.**

**TitanWolf(gets on his hands and knees and begins licking her boots) - Yes mistress.**

**Phoenix Wright - Poor guy.**

* * *

Phoenix was dragged from a peaceful dream where he was with Mia again. When he was awakened by a sound. Sitting up he cocked his head to the side to try and make out what the intruding sound was.

But; it stopped suddenly. Shrugging his shoulder the Ace Attorney lied back down and drifted off to sleep again. His dream picked up almost abruptly where it left off.

_DREAM_

_"Oh Mia, I'm so glad you're here," he said, holding the busty attorney against his chest._

_"Me too Phoenix," she replied, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Kiss me hard you sexy, sexy man!"_

_"Well you know I can't refuse a lady's request," he replied, leaning down toward her, their lips moved closer and closer, only inches apart._

PUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Phoenix's eyes shot open to see a furry body pressed against his face, nails digging into his scalp and under his chin. Jumping up he attempted to pull the thing off, but the pain shooting throughout his head prevented this.

Outside, sitting at the table of his apartment were Maya and Pearl, who were completely oblivious to the screaming and crashing that was coming from their friend's room.

"Do you think Mr. Nick will like the kitty we got him Mystic Maya?" Pearl asked, as she took a bite of cookie followed by a sip of milk.

"I think he'll love it Pearly," Maya replied, shoving several cookies into her mouth, and swallowed without bothering to chew.

At that moment the door to Phoenix's bedroom burst open and said occupant ran out with a black and white kitten latched to his face, causing the two Spirit Mediums to scream in surprise and fright.

"Get it off!" Phoenix screamed, running around the room and pulling frantically at the stubborn feline. "Get it off before I suffocate!"

"Hold on Nick!" Maya shouted, running after him, with Pearl right behind her.

"Don't worry Mr. Nick we'll save you, bad kitty!" Pearl added. At that moment Phoenix finally managed to pull the cat free and turned and threw it, unfortunately it landed smack dab in the middle of Maya's face.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Maya yelled, swinging her arms around in fright.

"Nnnnnnoooooo! Mystic Maya!" Pearl shouted, frantically jumping up in down in a fruitless attempt to grab the offending cat from her favorite cousin's face. "Mr. Nick help!

Phoenix dropped his hand from his scratched face and looked at the scene before him. Maya was on her hands and knees with Pearl holding the cat's tail and trying to pull it off with all her might.

Dick Gumshoe opened the door to his apartment and looked around, somebody had knocked on his door. A soft purring sound drew him to look down to see a kitten in a box.

"Hey there Pal," he said, kneeling down he picked it up, and walked inside with it. "Aren't you the cutest little- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Down the hall three severely scratched figures peeked around the corner to watch as the kitten latched itself to Gumshoe's face.

"Good riddance," they said together.

* * *

**TitanWolf - Franziska's close by, but if I whisper maybe she won't hear me-**

**Franziska von Karma - What do you mean I won't hear you?**

**TitanWolf - Oh no she was looking over my shoulder!**

**WHIP!**

**WHIP!**

**WHIP!**

**Franziska von Karma - Maybe you need to lick my boots more to teach you to stop acting like a foolishly foolish fool!**

**TitanWolf(getting back on his knees and starts licking) - Yes Mistress.**

**Phoenix Wright - Well since our host is busy I guess it's up to me to-**

**Dick Gumshoe(shoving Phoenix down) - No way Pal I'm his favorite! So I'll do it.**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

**Phoenix Wright - You shoved me down just to shout three words?**

**Dick Gumshoe(looking sheepish) - What can I say, I love this job Pal.**


	2. Turnabout Doctor

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 2**

**DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING!**

**TitanWolf - Okay, I've managed to barricade myself in so that… she won't get in. now as I was saying last time I'm about to show you another never before seen Phoenix Wright moment that-**

**Maya Fey - Hey TW what's up?**

**TitanWolf - Maya, how did you get in here?**

**Maya Fey - Through the back door.**

**TitanWolf - I don't have a back door.**

**Maya Fey(holds up chainsaw) - You do now.**

**TitanWolf - While I deal with the hole in the wall why don't you kids enjoy this new Oneshot.**

**Maya Fey(pulls out bowl of popcorn) - Oh boy, I hope it has the Steel Samurai in it!**

**TitanWolf(grabs her ear and pulls her toward the hole in the wall) - You are gonna help fix the hole you made.**

**Maya Fey(struggling to get free) - Hey let go! This is assault, I'll sue! Nick help!**

**Phoenix Wright - Sorry Maya but I'm a Defense Attorney, you'll need a Prosecutor.**

**Miles Edgeworth - May I be of assistance?**

**All Three - NO!**

**Miles Edgeworth(crying) - You guys never let me do anything fun!**

* * *

Through the haze of painkillers and a possible concussion Phoenix Wright slowly started to regain consciousness. His body was completely covered in white bandages, only his eyes and several strands of his spiky hair could be seen.

"Mystic Maya is Mr. Nick going to be okay?" Pearl asked, sitting at the bedside with her older cousin.

"Oh course he will," Maya replied, patting the smaller girl on the head.

"How did this happen?"

At this Maya looked sheepish and scratched the back of her head.

"Well Pearly…. It went like this,"

**3 HOURS EARLIER**

"Come on Nick!" Maya called, as she flopped down on the couch. "It's time for the new Steel Samurai/Pink Princess/Nickel Samurai crossover three hour special."

"I'm coming, hold you horses," Phoenix said. "I'm surprised they continued Nickel Samurai after that whole Matt Engarde trial."

"Uh huh," she replied, not fully listening as the show started. Phoenix yawned after several minutes of watching the show and was soon asleep. Several hours later he felt a hand grab his shoulder and shake him. "Nick, wake up the shows over."

Yawning loudly the Ace Attorney stretched before standing up. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Maya was still pumped up, as she threw punches out at an invisible opponent.

"Take that Evil Magistrate!" Maya shouted, as she jumped up and performed a flawless spin kick, that busted Phoenix in the nose, causing it to bleed profusely. "Oh Nick I'm sorry!"

Grabbing him by the arm she led the wounded attorney over to his desk as blood seeped through his fingers onto the floor. Sitting him down she dashed off to the bathroom and promptly returned with bandages.

"Hold still Nick, I'm gonna fix you up," she said, tilting his head back, as she tried to stop the blood flow Phoenix noticed that with each failed attempt she moved closer to get a better look until she's climbed into his lap. "Sorry Nick I can't do this right, but maybe sis can help!"

Before he could object Maya had already channeled Mia and Phoenix found his face jammed between Mia's more prominent body parts. Seconds later two gushers of blood came from his nose, first knocking Mia to the floor, then sending Phoenix's chair rocketing backwards and launching him out the window.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Maya returned to her normal self and ran to the window and looked over the edge.

"Nick are you okay?" she asked, shouting down to where he lay in a crater on the sidewalk.

"No….. not….. Really," he mumbled.

"So that's how it happened Mystic Maya?" Pearl asked.

"Yup that how it happened," she replied, slapping Phoenix on the shoulder a little too hard. "Right Nick?"

Lucky for the two Spirit Mediums the Ace Attorney's screams of pain were blocked off by the bandages that covered his mouth.

* * *

**TitanWolf - Well I hope you all enjoyed that Oneshot, as for me, I'm still trying to fix this hole that Maya made.**

**Maya Fey - Whew I worked hard, lunch break! Burgers here I come!**

**TitanWolf(grabs Maya's robe to keep her from walking away) - You haven't even done anything yet. How can you be tired.**

**Maya Fey - Well I had to doctor up Nick. Right Nick**

**Phoenix Wright(still wrapped up in bandages, but his eyes look angry) - Mmmph mmph umph!**

**Maya Fey - See he agrees.**

**TitanWolf - I don't think that's what he said.**

**Dick Gumshoe - Oh boy here comes my favorite part-**

**READ AND REVIEW**

**Miles Edgeworth - SALARY CUT!**

**Dick Gumshoe(looking mortified) - What, but why Mr. Edgeworth sir?!**

**Miles Edgeworth - Because I wasn't included in this chapter!**

**TitanWolf - Yes you were, you were in the opening.**

**Miles Edgeworth - Watch it or I'll tell Franziska where you are.**

**TitanWolf(looking horrified) NO! YOU WORK FOR FREE NOW!**

**Dick Gumshoe(weeping now) - Not you too pal!**


	3. Turnabout Kidnapped

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 3**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS!**

**TitanWolf: Hello loyal fans I'm finally back after a long several month hiatus. It's been a difficult past couple of months for me. I won't bore you with details.**

**Maya(pulling him into a tight hug) Hey Titan long time no see! How's it going with that girl you dated from the Campground?**

**TitanWolf(sits huddled in the corner) I don't wanna talk about it.**

**Maya: Well I guess it's up to Maya to run things from now on.**

**TitanWolf(jumping up and charging across the room) the hell you will!**

**Maya(waits until he's inches away from grabbing her) Jaida**

**TitanWolf(back in the corner) Don't say that name **

**Maya: Well enough goofing off lets get this show on the road!**

Phoenix awoke to the feeling of being in a moving car. Opening his eyes he only saw darkness, blindfolded, he tried reaching to remove it, but his arms were tied up.

"Oh good, your finally awake," a familiar voice said, he felt a soft hand remove the obscuring cloth and was met by Iris, driving a car. "It's so good to see you again Feenie."

She leaned over and gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

"Iris, what's going on? Why are you here?" he asked, looking around he saw several, very troubling things, between his feet he saw a duffle bag loaded with guns, rifles, shotguns, and what appeared to be a grenade launcher, second, was Iris, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and lastly, hanging on the mirror was a picture of Franziska and Edgeworth. "And why are you driving Edgeworth's car? For that matter, how did you get his car?"

"He gave me the keys when I asked for them, as for why, we're going to Mexico and be married" she replied, smiling sweetly, Phoenix looked over the set to see Edgeworth laying there, with several large lumps on his head. "Oh! We have company"

Following Iris's gaze Phoenix was surprised to see Dick Gumshoe, the detective was coming up alongside the car…. Riding a little pink bike. The detective was pumping as hard as he could, sweat was running down his face, he looked close to having a heart attack.

'He's come to save me' Phoenix thought, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Don't worry Mr. Edgeworth sir!" he shouted. "I'll save you!"

'He came for Edgeworth!' Phoenix thought in shock. At that time Iris opened her door, and slammed on the breaks. The car squealed to a stop, but Gumshoe kept going, the detective rammed into the door and was sent flying. Looking in the passenger side mirror Phoenix saw an ice cream truck. What surprised him was clinging to the back was Maya, the Spirit Medium was holding on with one hand, and eating a fudge bar with the other.

"Don't-lick-worry-lick-Nick-lick-I'll-lick-save-lick-you-lick" she said, between licks, before the ice cream truck turned down an adjacent street. "Ooooooooooooooooh-lick-noooooooooooooooo!-lick"

"Why am I not surprised?" he asked himself. "Next Pearls will show up riding in a kangaroo's pouch."

Overhead the sounds of an approaching helicopter caught his attention, looking up he saw a black hawk, what surprised him was Pearl, dressed in a flak jacket and mirrored sunglasses, and holding a high powered sniper rifle.

"Take the shot!" the pilot said.

"Taking the shot!" Pearl replied, shouldering the rifle she fired, at the last possible second Iris swerved the car, grabbed the grenade launcher, and fired, causing the black hawk to explode, luckily, Pearl parachuted to safety, as for the pilot, well, he was voted most likely to be blown up in a helicopter by a crazy medium in high school.

"Don't worry Feenie," Iris said, as she patted his thigh. "Nothing will stop us now."

As they drove along a strange whistling sound filled the air, like a bomb makes in a cartoon. Looking up they saw an atomic bomb falling towards them, with a person riding it.

"Yahoo!" Larry shouted. "Don't worry Nick, I'll save you!"

"Larry…. You stupid bastard," Phoenix mumbled

The bomb hit the ground and everything was engulfed in a massive explosion.

Phoenix woke up on the floor of his office, after rolling off of the couch, and unfortunately, on top of Maya.

"Your being very forward today Nick," Maya said, with a cheeky grin. A gasp of surprised drew their attention, both looked over to see Pearl, blushing fiercely.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your alone time with Mr. Nick Mystic Maya," she said, smiling in a 'knowing' kind of way. "I'll leave you two alone."

Phoenix jumped up quickly and back a few steps away from Maya.

"No! Pearls it wasn't like that!" he shouted.

"Hey Nick," Maya said, drawing his attention. "Weren't you going to visit Sister Iris today?"

"I think I'll skip it this week," Phoenix said.

**Maya: Well… that was different…. How's it going Detective Gumshoe?**

**Gumshoe(patting TitanWolf on the back) Come on pal cheer up, hey, How about I do the Gumshoe dance for ya.**

**Maya: oh yeah, how's Maggey doing?**

**Gumshoe(sits huddled beside TitanWolf)I don't wanna talk about**

**Maya: oh boy, Nick what should I do?"**

**Phoenix(handcuffed to Iris and dressed in a tux) I'm kinda busy here Maya, you'll have to handle this on your own.**

**Judge: I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride.**

**Iris( dips Phoenix and gives him a long, hard kiss)**

**Maya: Well, I guess if I have no choice.**

**READ AND REVIEW! **


	4. Turnabout Monkeys

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 4**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS**

**TitanWolf(sits huddled in the corner)**

**Maya: Jaida, Jaida, Jaida, Jaida-**

**Phoenix: Maya stop saying that!**

**Maya(turning around) Saying what?**

**Phoenix: Stop saying Jaida(clamps his hands over his mouth in an embarrassed fashion)**

**TitanWolf(stands on a chair and slips a noose around his neck) I can't go on**

**Phoenix and Maya(waving their arms around wildly) Ack! No no no! **

**Pearl: Well, since Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya are busy I'll introduce today's episode**

We find our heroes in the jungles of deepest Africa, all three were decked out in pith helmets and khaki shorts. Phoenix led the way, hacking through the foliage, followed by Maya, snapping pictures, and rounding out the group was Pearl, carrying a bunch of bananas.

"It sure was nice of Mr. Edgeworth to give us those tickets for this safari huh Nick?" Maya said, as she snapped another picture. "I wonder why he did it?"

"I don't know why," he replied, as he smacked another mosquito. "Who knows what goes on in the head of his."

**Back in LA**

"Now that Wright and his assistants are gone I can finally cut loose," Edgeworth said, opening his shirt to reveal a girdle, almost immediately opening it a bulbous gut flowed out. Edgeworth leaned back in his chair and scratched his belly. "It feels good to finally let it all out."

**Back in Africa**

A rustling in the bushes caught Pearl's attention, stopping, she leaned in for a closer look when a hairy face leaned out. She looked at it for a second before smiling broadly.

"Hi Mr. Monkey!" she exclaimed, holding out a banana. "Want a banana?"

Almost immediately the monkey snatched all the bananas away and disappeared in the bushes.

"Hey! Mystic Maya!" she yelled. "That monkey took my bananas!"

"That's nice Pearly," she said, not paying attention, as she snapped another picture. "Ooh a parrot!"

Pearl hmphed, before going in after the banana thief. Pressing through the underbrush she soon came upon the monkey's tracks and followed them. She soon came out into a decrepit stone city overgrown with vines and moss. Going further in she found dozens of monkeys sitting before a throne, a large Orangutan sat on it, beside him was a massive piles of fruits.

"He must be king of the monkeys," Pearl said to herself, before walking out before them. "Excuse me, Mr. Monkey King. But; I think you have my bananas and I'd like them back if you don't mind."

The Orangutan only moaned pitifully and pointed to his mouth.

"If I help you with your tooth problem will you give back my bananas?" Pearl asked, the Orangutan nodded. "Ok."

Walking over and climbing up on the throne Pearl was surprised when the large Orangutan opened it's mouth to reveal a large set of fangs. The small spirit medium glanced in and immediately saw the problem. Reaching in slowly she grabbed the offending object and pulled it out, a rotted tooth. Hopping down she smiled and held the tooth up.

"All done," she said. The monkeys immediately began to jump up and down and hooted and screeched. The Orangutan hopped off the throne, picked Pearl up, and placed her on the throne. "Um… you want me to be the new Monkey Queen?"

As if to answer, the collected primates got on their knees and bowed before her.

"Uh oh," Pearl muttered. "I hope Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya notice I'm missing soon."

Phoenix and Maya however, didn't, mainly because they weren't paying attention, but mostly because a monkey was following them, wearing Pearl's pith helmet.

**Phoenix: Ok we got Titan off the chair, now we need to make sure no one say you know who's name.**

**Maya: Who's name? Jaida's?**

**TitanWolf(back on the chair with the noose) Goodbye cruel world**

**Phoenix and Maya(waving their arms around wildly) No not again!**

**Pearl(still sitting on the throne) Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya will show up soon I just know it**

**Orangutan: Ooh ahh ooh(that's Orangutan for)**

**READ AND REVIEW**


	5. Turnabout Oz

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 5**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS**

**TitanWolf: Well, I'm back once again with another-**

**Godot(bursts into the room) Give me some goddamned pancakes!**

**TitanWolf(looking surprised) Are you ok?**

**Godot: I'm fine, just had too much coffee…. So much coffee…. I need more! And where are those goddamned pancakes!**

**TitanWolf(slowly reaches for the coffee cup) Take it easy, why don't you give me the coffee and we'll go and-**

**Godot(recoiling from his hand) No! you just wanna take my coffee away from me! But I won't let you, we're in love and are gonna get married! You'll see!(runs off laughing crazily)**

**TitanWolf: Well while I go try and catch Godot you enjoy this new oneshot**

Out story begins in a small village, we see several midgets dressed in brightly colored outfits, there's Winston Payne, Guy Eldoon, and Victor Kudo. All three are scared out of their wits, and they should be, the wicked witch of the East, Dahlia Hawthorne, is threatening them again.

"If you pipsqueaks don't have my bath ready by the time I count to three your all gonna be sorry!" she growled. "1... 2... 3!"

As she made her way towards the quaking munchkins a loud whistling was heard, she looked up just as a skyscraper fell on top of her, the sign read Wright and Co. Law Offices. The front door opened to reveal a little girl dressed in purple acolyte robes, and carrying a brown dog.

"Missile, I don't think we're in LA anymore," Pearl said, stepping outside she came face to top of heads with the three men. "Oh hello, do you know where we are?"

"Your in Oz little lady," Eldoon said. "And look what you've done, you've killed the wicked witch of the east. Do you know what that means?"

Pearl looked down to see a pair of feet sticking out from under the skyscraper and quickly began to tear up, she was a murderer, and Mr. Nick wasn't here to defend her.

"It means we're free!" Kudo shouted. "Come on out boys! The witch is dead we're free!"

Immediately other little men emerged from the bushes, Jake Marshall, Ron Delite, Terry Fawles, Diego Armando(before the whole Godot thing), Wocky Kitaki, and several others the narrator can't remember.

They all lifted Pearl up and tossed her and Missile up in the air.

"Free! Free! Free!" they chanted. In the distance a purple ball appeared, it floated gently towards the village and landed on the ground, disappearing it revealed Mia Fey, dressed in a pink dress and a crown.

"So you're the one who killed Dahlia?" she said, causing the munchkins to stop and look at her, unfortunately, Pearl and Missile were still up in the air, and landed on the hard ground. Standing up the young acolyte looked at Mia with wonder and surprise.

At the mention of Dahlia, Pearl began to cry. Mia kneeled and pulled her into a hug.

"There there, there's no reason to cry," she said. "You've done a good thing."

"But…. I killed someone!" she wailed. "I'll go to jail!"

"No you won't-" at that moment a great thunderstorm blew, the munchkins shrieked and dove for the cover of the bushes. From the dark clouds descended a figure dressed in black, and carrying a whip.

"Who is the fool who has foolishly decided to foolishly kill my beloved sister like a foolishly foolish fool?" Franziska demanded as she landed. "Do not waste my time Mia Fey, you will answer me now! Who is the foolishly foolish fool who has foolishly killed Dahlia like a foolishly foolish fool would foolishly do like such a fool?"

"Her," Mia said, stepping aside to reveal a cowering Pearl, clutching Missile.

"Why you foo-

**Godot(holding a remote) Blah blah blah, BORING! FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: Give me that!**

**The two wrestled for the remote as the story kept going.**

"You can come out everyone," Mia said, "She is gone."

Slowly the munchkins emerged from their hiding places.

"So how can I get home?" Pearl asked. "Can you send me home with your magic?"

"No, I'm afraid not," she replied. "Only the Judge can send you home."

"The Judge?" Pearl asked. "Where can I find him?"

"He lives at the emerald courthouse at the end of the yellow brick road." Mia said, pointing down the road. "Follow it and you'll soon find it."

"Thank you!" Pearl said, as she ran off down the road. Mia watched her go with a smile. A loud ripping sound filled the air as she felt cool air touch her legs. Looking down she saw Missile rip the bottom of her dress away to reveal a black thong.

"You little mutt!" she roared, as the dog chased after the little girl. As Mia prepared to go after him she heard several catcalls and wolf whistles, followed by the clicking of cameras. "Don't take pictures you dirty little freaks!"

Pearl stopped and looked back as Missile caught up. From the village she saw flashes of light and explosions.

"Look Missile their launching fireworks!" she squealed, unaware of the screams of tiny men in pain caused by a witch's wrath. Further down the road she came to a cornfield. She looked to see Maya, dressed up like a scarecrow, trying in vain to scare away a bird.

"Boo! Go on scat!" she yelled, swinging her arms around. "Shoo! Beat it! Scram! Vamoose! Leave!"

Soon she was lying on the ground breathing heavy. Pearl climbed over the fence and walked over.

"Are you ok?" she asked, kneeling down beside Maya.

"I think I popped a blood vessel in my head," she murmured, before looking up at the two. "Who are you?"

"I'm Pearl and this is Missile," Pearl said, holding Missile up, causing Maya to squeal and coo over the puppy. "Why can't you scare birds? You're a scarecrow right?"

Maya sighed at this.

"I'm not much of a scarecrow, I can't even scare one bird," Maya said, before jumping up suddenly and roared loudly, the bird only kept preening it's feathers. "See, I'm a failure, probably because I don't have a brain."

"I'm going to the emerald courthouse to see the Judge," Pearl said. "If he can send me and Missile home maybe he can give you a brain!"

"Really?" Maya exclaimed, spinning around. "Lets go!"

Grabbing Pearl by the wrist Maya bolted, Missile almost got left behind, were it not for Pearl, who managed to grab his tail. Soon the three came to an apple orchard, where they stopped to rest. Walking among the trees they came upon a strange sight, a man made of metal, rusty from rain, the stern look on his face revealed it to be Miles Edgeworth.

**Godot(holding a remote) This is going to slow, FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: No! you'll ruin the whole thing!**

**The two fought as the story jumped ahead. By the time TitanWolf finally got the remote away from Godot out heroes were in a deep dark forest.**

The three walked slowly through the darkened woods, Pearl clutched Missile to her body. Maya hid behind Edgeworth, who held his axe ready to swing.

**_TitanWolf: Ok its almost time for your debut in my fic, are you ready?_**

**?: I'm not going out there dressed like this! I look stupid!**

**TitanWolf: Do it or no starring role next chapter**

**?: Your very mean you know that?**

**TitanWolf: Tell it to the Judge…. Ha-ha get it Judge, because your going to see the-**

**?: Yeah I get it, something tells me I'm gonna regret this.**

The sounds of an approaching car caught their attention as a taxi pulled up beside them, the back door opened to reveal Apollo Justice dressed in a lion costume.

"I'm the other guy, courage not enough of it, need some from what's-his-name," he said, his voice very deadpan. "Lets get this over with. I hope Godot get a hold of that remote again."

**Godot: Wish granted, FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: Not again!**

"I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL JUDGE!"

**Godot: FAST FORWARD AGAIN!**

**TitanWolf: Not again!**

"Fly my foolys fly!" Franziska cackled to Gumshoe, Larry, and Phoenix. The flying monkeys descended on our heroes, picking them up, all except Apollo, leaving him to skip by himself.

"What do I smell or something?" he asked.

**Godot: STILL FAST FORWARDING!**

**TitanWolf: Who let you out?**

"I'm melting! Melting oh what a foolishly foolish world!" Franziska wailed as she melted.

**Godot: guess what? That's right, FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: Give me that remote!**

"I can't use law to send you home but I have another way," the Judge said. The roaring of a motorcycle filled the air as Klavier Gavin rode up.

"Me the rock and roll prosecutor Herr Fraulein kinder," Klavier said, causing Pearl to blush. As the young spirit medium went to get on the bike she was pushed aside as Mia, still just in her ripped dress and thong, hopped on the back of the bike.

"Lets roll daddy!" she said, as he gunned the throttle. The group watched as the two disappeared into the distance.

**Godot: Now that is IRONY, FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: I give up**

**Godot(still holding the remote) FAST FORWARD FAST FORWARD FAST FORWARD!**

**TitanWolf: You single handedly ruined my masterpiece!**

**Godot: No I didn't, I only made it faster!**

**Apollo: So about my starring role next chapter…. Wait, what are you doing with that shovel- aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!**

**TitanWolf(chases Apollo around with a shovel)**

**Apollo: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh READ AND REVIEW aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! **


	6. Turnabout Guilty

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 6**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS**

**TitanWolf - Hello loyal readers, it is I your most beloved, and extremely handsome host bringing you yet another unaired Phoenix Wright oneshot. So lets-**

**Apollo(running in and shoving the author down) What our host means is, this is an Apollo Justice oneshot today and-**

**TitanWolf(jumping up and grabbing Apollo by the collar) What do you mean an Apollo Justice oneshot? Like hell it is your-**

**Apollo - Kristina.**

**TitanWolf(sits huddled in the corner) Don't say that name.**

**Apollo(nails the author over the head with a large mallet) Whatever you say boss. Now on with the show!**

"So Polly, what do you know about this guy?" Trucy asked, as she and Apollo walked into the detention center.

"Well his names Logan Carter for starters," Apollo said, after signing in at the desk. "And he's being convicted of a lot of things, lets see, murder, rape, sodomy, tax evasion, money laundering, fraud, and one moving violation."

"Think he's guilty?" Trucy asked, as the two sat down to wait for their client to be brought in.

"Trucy, you should know by now that none of our clients are guilty," Apollo said. "This is just another one of those trials that will have me lay out an over the top explanation implicating a suspect that no one would suspect to be the real culprit. But; he probably is guilty of the moving violation."

The door opened to reveal a man being pushed in on a trolley, he had a dark blue Mohawk, and was wrapped tightly in a straight jacket and had a muzzle over his mouth. Trucy was taken back, but; Apollo only smiled.

"See this is what I meant," Apollo said, looking at Carter. "Mr. Carter I am your defense attorney the court has provided you. So tell me what happened."

"Well, I kicked in the door to the girl's apartment, and as she tried to run I pinned her to the ground and-" as Carter talked, Apollo's face grew paler and paler with each passing second, and Trucy, she passed out a long time ago. "So then I pulled the boy's shorts down and grabbed his-"

After Carter was finally down and the guard wheeled him out, Apollo woke Trucy up, who looked like she was going to puke.

"Polly… are you sure you can prove him innocent?" Trucy asked, as Apollo helped her shakily to her feet. "He's obviously guilty."

"Trucy, I have a plan," Apollo said.

**THE NEXT DAY **

"So what's your plan Polly?" Trucy asked, as the two sat on the couch in the defendant lobby. "Are you really gonna prove him innocent?"

"Nope," Apollo said. "I'm going to do such a lousy job with the evidence that he'll be proven guilty."

"Is that smart?" she asked.

"Oh what do you know?" he asked. "You're a magician, leave the lawyer thinking to a big time lawyer."

"Mr. Edgeworth?"

"Trucy, being out of the cage is a privilege, not a right," Apollo said. "Do you wanna go back in the cage?"

"No!" Trucy squealed.

"No what?"

"No my most handsome and devilish master who all woman bow to when he pulls out his 15 inch-"

"Its time Mr. Justice," the bailiff said.

"Well lets go fuck up," Apollo said. "And lose this case on purpose!"

**IN THE COURTROOM**

The two entered to see that the room was packed with people. Walking up to the defense side of the room Apollo looked over to see Klavier wasn't there.

"Mr. Justice," the judge said.

"Yes your honor?" Apollo asked.

"It has come to my attention by way of Mr. Gavin, that every person you and your predecessor Phoenix Wright defend are proven innocent," the judge said. "That is why, the prosecutor's office has said, that every client you receive, must be innocent."

"I don't like where this is going," Apollo mumbled.

"Therefore, I find the defendant, Logan Carter," the judge said. "Not Guilty!"

As the crowd cheered and the confetti rained down, Apollo stood, open mouthed as Logan Carter was let loose from the straight jacket. Carter laughed manically, and gave Apollo a thumbs up.

"Thanks a lot kid!" he said. "I got me a lot of people to see today."

"Goodbye you innocent man," the bailiff said, as Carter ran from the courtroom.

"Polly, um…. What do we do?" Trucy asked.

"I think I'm going to lie down," Apollo said, before fainting.

The paper the next day read.

**LOGAN CARTER FOUND INNOCENT APOLLO JUSTICE WINS AGAIN!**

And under that.

**A STRING OF MURDERS AND RAPES SWEEP CITY! LOGAN CARTER NOT SUSPECT 1**

**Due to being found innocent, Logan Carter is not the top suspect, despite finding fingerprints, and his wallet at one of the crime scenes. Detective Emma Skye had this to say.**

"**It appears that Mr. Carter must have dropped his wallet as he bent to pick up the murder weapon the real killer dropped after fleeing the scene," Skye said. "There's no way he could have done this, Apollo Justice did prove him innocent."**

**Carter's wallet will be returned shortly.**

Apollo looked at the front page with a look of shock.

"Trucy," he said weakly.

"Yes?" she said, from inside a pet cramped carrier.

"I think I'm going to become a prosecutor," he said.

"That's great," she said. "Can you let me out now?"

"Eat your fish heads and then we'll talk." he said.

**Apollo(looking flabbergasted) What the heck was that?**

**TitanWolf - I told you it was a Phoenix Wright oneshot didn't I? you were supposed to be a superhero that wasn't very good at it.**

**Apollo - But…. But…. But….**

**TitanWolf(Walking away) I guess I'll have to think of something else for Phoenix to do.**

**Trucy(still in the pet carrier) Hey can someone let me out?"**

**TitanWolf - Did you finish your fish heads?**

**Trucy - Not yet.**

**TitanWolf - Finish your fish heads and then we'll decide if you deserve to be let out.**

**Gumshoe - READ AND REVIEW!**

**END CHAPTER 6**


	7. Turnabout Knights

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 7**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS**

**TitanWolf(Runs inside and slams the door behind him) safe for now.**

**The door starts to bend in as several arms reach through and claw at the author.**

**Voices - I wanna star in a oneshot! No me! Me and coffee get the next oneshot!**

**TitanWolf(begins nailing boards over the door) Back you animals! Back!**

**He steps back from the door and smiles wickedly.**

**TitanWolf - Stand back I got a chainsaw!**

**The arms retreat as the author makes chainsaw noises with his mouth, but; when eyes start to look through the holes his noises slowly stop.**

**TitanWolf - Uh oh**

**Backing away from the door, the sounds of a real chainsaw causes him to look up as a hole is carved in the ceiling, seconds before it falls in on top of him.**

**Maya(sitting on top holding the chainsaw) Hey Titan I wanted…. Hey, where is he?**

**She looks down to see his hands and feet sticking out from under the chunk of roof. **

**Maya(lifts the roof off of him) Ohmygosh! I'm sorry are you ok?**

**TitanWolf(birds fly around his head) But mommy, I don't want to go to school today, all the other kids make fun of my Steel Samurai underwear on the outside of my pants.**

**Maya - Well, it looks like I'll have to run the show for now, enjoy this new oneshot!**

three knights kneeled before the king's throne, one was in blue armor, one orange, and the third in reddish purple armor.

"As you three know my beloved daughters were kidnapped," the king said. "I have chosen you three, my most loyal knights, sir Phoenix of Wright, sir Larry of Butz, sir Miles of Edgeworth. I'm trusting you three to return them safe and sound to this castle."

"We won't fail you your majesty," Miles said.

"We'll return your daughters to your side," Phoenix added.

"So don't worry so much boss, you don't want your blood pressure to go up," Larry said, earning a smack from Miles.

"Now don't fail or-" the king said, sliding his thumb across his throat in a slitting motion. "Now away with you."

He slapped all 3 in one motion.

**Outside**

"So how are we supposed to find the princesses?" Phoenix asked.

"Use your brain porcupine," Miles said. "Where do all princesses get taken?"

"Bowser's Castle?" Larry asked, causing Edgeworth to slap him.

"No numbskull, a tower," Miles said. "Now, where can we find a tower?"

"Chicago?" Phoenix asked.

"Italy?" Larry added.

"You wise guys," Miles growled, as he grabbed them by the hair and bashed their heads together. "Look! Over there!"

The three knights looked to see a tower in the distance with a sign that said.

**HOSTAGE TOWER - PRINCESSESS HELD INSIDE**

"To the stables!"

"To the stables!

"To the stables!"

The three ran into the stables and came out "riding" stick horses.

**AT THE TOWER**

Maya looked at her reflection in the mirror and propped her head on her hand and sighed.

"I'm bored, there's no burgers," she mumbled, as a crash downstairs caught her attention. Walking over to the door to her chamber, Maya peeked out to see Miles, Phoenix, and Larry fall through the door downstairs into a pile on the floor. Doing a happy dance in her head, the princess quickly shut the door and ran over to the wall, and tapped on it three times. "We're saved, the knights are here to save us. Get into positions."

After quickly applying lipstick, Mays climbed onto the bed and closed her eyes.

**DOWNSTAIRS**

"Get off of me you morons!" Miles shouted, as Phoenix and Larry scrambled to get up. "What's the big idea dog piling on me?"

"We're sorry Miles it was an accident," Phoenix said. "We didn't mean to do it honest."

"Yeah we're sorry Miles," Larry added.

"Oh really?" he asked, before slapping Phoenix, and punching Larry in the gut before smacking him in the head. "Spread out!"

The three started up the stairs with Miles in the lead and Phoenix and Larry behind him. Reaching the top they came to 3 doors.

"Wonder which one we take?" Larry asked.

"Use your brain dummy," Miles said. "3 doors, 3 princesses."

"Makes sense," Phoenix said, as he moved towards a door, he was stopped by Miles grabbing him by the hair and pulling him back.

"I'm the leader of this outfit and I get to pick first," Edgeworth said, before walking through the door in the middle.

"Well, I'm second in command so I get to pick second," Phoenix said, before walking through the door on the right.

"And I'm third in command so I get to pick last," Larry said, before entering the last door.

Phoenix approached the bed and looked down at the sleeping Maya, who opened one eye slightly, before puckering her lips up. Leaning down, Phoenix reached down, grabbed her shoulders, and shook her.

"Wake up!" he exclaimed.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Rescuing you," he said.

"Well your doing it wrong!" she exclaimed.

"I am?" he asked, confused.

"Yes! Your supposed to kiss me tenderly to awaken me from my slumber," she said. "Not shake me like a rag doll!"

As the angry princess listed off the right way to rescue a princess, Phoenix wondered how Miles and Larry were doing.

Miles entered the room and approached the sleeping figure on the bed, pulling back the curtain revealed Lotta Heart. As the stoic knight leaned down, he was surprised by Lotta, suddenly, as she reached up and grabbed him, and pulled him down and began to kiss him reverently.

Larry approached the bed and grabbed the curtain, he breathed into his hand and sniffed it, before pulling the curtain back, and recoiling in horror at the sight of Ms. Oldbag. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a frog, and pressed it to the old woman's lips. He tossed the amphibian away as she woke up. The look on her face was priceless, as she regarded Larry with a look of shock.

"Who are you supposed to be?" she asked.

"I'm here to rescue you," he said. "I think."

"A whippersnapper like you? Please!" she said. "In my day knights were rugged and good looking not some young moron with a dull look on his face, no, they were brimming with muscles in places you weren't supposed to have muscles, not a skinny little twig-"

Phoenix stepped outside the door as Maya kept listing off the things he was supposed to do.

"Don't walk out the door! Your supposed to carry me out to your horse and ride off into the-" she was cutoff as he shut the door. He looked over to see Larry run out and slam the door behind him.

"That bad?" he asked.

"Worse," Larry replied. "Where's Miles?"

The middle door opened to show Edgeworth, covered in lipstick. He calmly pulled out a hanky and wiped his face clean, before looking at the other two.

"Lets get the heck out of here!" he shouted, before the three of them bolted down the stairs, and out the door, but; not before nailing the door shut and running off into the sunset.

**Maya(she places an icepack on TitanWolf's head lump) Sorry about this.**

**TitanWolf(still a little wonky from the massive head injury) It's ok talking zebra, its not your fault the chocolate river ran dry after the beavers voted to have all the pixie sticks launched into space.**

**Phoenix - Maya maybe we should take him to the hospital.**

**Maya - You think so?**

**As a geyser of blood erupted from the author's head.**

**Both - Ack no no no! **

**Gumshoe - READ AND REVIEW!**

**END CHAPTER 7**

_if you can guess which knight represents which of the 3 Stooges, you get to pick the next oneshot idea._


	8. Turnabout Training

**Turnabout Oneshots**

**Chapter 8**

**DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN IDEAS**

**Maya - Welcome back to another episode of-**

**TitanWolf - Finland!**

**Maya - Well, as you can see the author is still suffering from massive head trauma from the incident last time. This week we have something special, if you follow Youtube then you already know Nick will be appearing in Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3, along with yours truly to help.**

**TitanWolf(runs over and begins kissing Maya's arm like Gomez Adams)**

**Maya - Ewwwwwwwwwwww! Nick get him off!**

**Gomez(runs up, and pulls TitanWolf away, before beginning to punch him) Steal my shtick will you ! I'll show you!**

**Maya(shocked, surprised, and relieved all at the same time) oh crap! Watch this while I try to help TitanWolf!**

"Maya are you sure about this?" Phoenix asked, as Maya pushed him towards the ring. It was a stone courtyard with menacing guards with spears standing on both sides. "I don't think this is a good idea, I mean, I'm a lawyer not a fighter."

"Don't worry Nick, you need to warm up for the game release," Maya said, hopping down to the ground. "And I found one of the game characters willing to spar with you."

"Really?" Phoenix asked, surprised. "That was nice, who is it?"

"Here he comes now!" Maya exclaimed. Phoenix looked to see a massive monster with four arms, holding a skull in one hand, and effortlessly crushed it.

"Maya, he's not in the game," Phoenix said.

"Of course he is," Maya replied. "I looked it up, and said he'd be more than happy to spar with you."

"Round 1!" Shang Tsung exclaimed. "Fight!"

With a roar, he leaped forward and grabbed Phoenix by the neck with two hands, and began punching him in the gut with the lower two. Maya watched this in shock as the Shokan tossed Phoenix around effortlessly, kicking and punching him mercilessly.

"Maya…. Help….. Me," Phoenix begged, as he slowly dragged himself across the ground towards her.

"You lose!" Shang Tsung exclaimed. "Round 2."

"Oh no," Phoenix mumbled, as the monster grabbed him by the ankles.

"Fight!"

Maya covered her eyes as Phoenix with lifted effortlessly off the ground and slammed repeatedly over and over.

"Is it over?" Phoenix asked, as the monster leaped up in the air, and came crashing down on him. "…..Mommy."

"Finish him!" Shang Tsung shouted, as Phoenix was picked up, and piled rived him into the ground until only his legs stuck out.

"Nick are you ok?" Maya asked, as she grabbed his legs and tried to pull him out. Eventually the monster came over and yanked Phoenix out of the ground and dropped him beside Maya. "Thanks!"

"Its nothing," he said, before walking away.

"Maya… is ….. It over… did I….. win?" Phoenix asked.

"Well… no," Maya said. "But; don't worry Nick I'm sure another member of the roster will spar with you."

"The last one nearly killed me," he said.

"Lets go!" she exclaimed, dragging Phoenix behind her on the ground.

Later

Phoenix looked around at the large test tubes holding bodies in them, and shuddered. Maya, however didn't notice and kept pulling him along until they came to a well built brown haired man in a vest, a red tshirt and blue jeans.

"Hey look buddy I'm not so sure about-" Phoenix began, but; was interrupted by Maya pushing him.

"Fight!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Phoenix looked in shock as the young man transformed into a wolf and lunged. Maya watched as Phoenix was clawed and bitten along with being punched and kicked.

"Go get him Nick you got him on the ropes!" Maya cheered, as Phoenix was tossed up in the air, and savagely clawed as he came down. "I wonder if Mr. Edgeworth needs an assistant?"

**Edgeworth's Office**

"Butz? Butz!" Edgeworth shouted, as the door opened and Larry Butz walked in holding several post it notes.

"Here are your messages Edgy, you have 30 minutes to move your car, you now have 10 minutes to move your car, your car has been impounded, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have 30 minutes to move your cube," Larry said, as Edgeworth's eye started to twitch the phone rang. "Hello, Miles Edgeworth's office."

"Is it about my cube?" he asked.

**Back with Maya and Phoenix**

Phoenix was heavily bandaged as he followed Maya through a densely wooded area. The two eventually came out to a clearing to find a little blond girl in a red hood with a basket.

"Is she the fighter?" Phoenix asked, looking at the little girl in surprise.

"Yep," Maya said. "You have fun, I'm gonna call Pearly."

As Maya turned and walked away, Phoenix saw the little girl smile sadistically.

"Hi Pearly…. Yeah Nick is really enjoying the sparring….. Un huh I think he'll be more than ready," Maya said, oblivious to the sounds of explosions and machinegun fire filling the air along with Phoenix's screams of pain. "Well, I gotta go, see you soon."

Turning around she saw Phoenix lying face down with bullet holes and scorch marks covering the ground around him. Picking up a stick, Maya kneeled down and began poking at Phoenix.

"Nick…. You ok?" she asked, as he groaned weakly in pain. "Good! Now come on, I got a lot more roster characters you can spar with!"

Phoenix began to weep, as Maya dragged him along the ground.

**Gomez(kicking and screaming as the cops drag him away) you little bastard! Sleep with one eye open!**

**Maya(hugging an injured TitanWolf to her body) Well, I'm glad that's over. Now we can get back to training, right Nick?**

**Phoenix(Covered in a full body cast) Mmhh mh mhhmm**

**Maya - Good! Now lets continue!**

**Phoenix looks in in horror at the line of fighters, Blanka, Shen Long, Jin Kazama, Sabrewulf, Orchid, Bakyuru, Brandon Fury, El Blaze, Nightwolf, Venom, Sub-Zero, Spawn, Link, Nightmare, Heihachi, Scorpion, Ect**

**Dick Gumshoe - READ AND-**

**Scorpion - GET OVER HERE!**

**Phoenix - AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!**

**END CHAPTER 8**

_if you can tell me either the names of the three fighters Phoenix fought or the names of the games they came from, you can pick the next oneshot idea._


End file.
